I’ve already pulled the stunt of listing bizarre erotic books for Halloween. But with Christmas approaching, I couldn’t resist the urge to repeat the offence. So here is a selection of erotic books about Santa.
If you want to take a closer look at any of them, they are all from the Erotica section on Amazon. Personally, I haven’t read them.
Erotic books about Santa and his toys
If I say “Santa”, you probably answer “toys”.
The toy theme is a recurring one in Christmas erotica: either Santa’s workshop is a sex toy factory, or the hero or heroine directly becomes the bearded, red-coated man’s sex toy.
- Santa’s naughty workshop, by Caitlyn Veronique.
- Santa’s Boy Toy, by Bellatrix Turner.
- Santa’s Toy by Nichelle Gregory.
Crappy jokes and puns
Ho! Ho! Ho! Christmas, an ideal time for smutty jokes (like every other time of the year). What evokes both Christmas and sex? Let’s see… Candy canes? Chimneys?
- Coming up her Chimney, by Elisabeth Ash.
- Sucking Santa’s Candy Cane, by Angelina Rain.
- “Santa Claus is cumming to town” by Elaine Shuel. The pun we all saw coming… literally.
Mrs Claus and the elves
While her husband is frolicking about delivering gifts, Mrs Claus is having fun on her own at the North Pole, doing filthy things with an elf. Or with several, who all have exactly the same face, the same posture, and the same moronic smile. Or maybe there’s just a lot of drugs at the North Pole.
- Mrs. Claus and the Naughty Elf, by Andrea Dale.
- “Mrs. Claus Gets Elfed” (Does that mean she got… um… “stuffed”?), volume 1, by Sapphire Del Rey.
- And volume 2.
Santa is a bear
A potbelly, a long beard, a jovial smile: Santa is a bear, that was pretty obvious. And your Christmas present is his cock.
- Santa is a bear, by Sara Pierce.
BDSM erotic books dedicated to Santa
Santa and his partner sometimes act like the disciplinarian, handing out spankings to consenting adults.
- Better watch out! ‘Cause Santa spanks, by Emma E Gardner.
But who on earth imagined that a photo of a hand covered in five mini red hats, trowelled onto the image, would be sexy?
- Punished by Mrs Claus, by Roxanne Sweet.
Other times, that rascal fantasises about his long-whip competitor, and it’s his bum that takes the beating.
- Santa gets spanked, by Emma K Gardner.
Santa’s Fetishes
When it comes to fetishes, Santa experiments with all sorts of stuff.
Among others, pony play.
- “Ponygirl Christmas”, by Jenevieve De Beers.
But also ABDL (Adult Baby/ Diaper Lovers) fantasies.
- “Diapered by Santa”, by Candy Sax.
And even tentacles!
- “Tenta – Claus!”, by Anni Ray.
Erotic books featuring Santa’s family
Santa is pretty damn old: a century and a half at the strict minimum, but possibly much more. Some authors therefore fall back on his son, who is at a better age to go wild with his body.
- “Son of Santa”, by F. Gorden Scott.
Others, on the contrary, turn his maturity into a sexy asset, flirting with gerontophilia. Even if, for a centenarian, he’s rather well-preserved, Santa will probably get along very well with your grandmother.
- “Santa Comes Early for Granny”, by Sibyl Grey. (A title that clearly speaks for itself…).
