After stumbling across all sorts of wacky stories in my random wanderings around the internet, I decided to put together a little collection of unusual sexual news stories.
Although some of them must have been pretty unpleasant for the people involved, I haven’t included anything too sordid. The aim is to make you raise your eyebrows in astonishment, or perhaps smile a little, but certainly not to bring you down.
Unusual sexual news stories: medical curiosities
Woman discovers she has two vaginas while giving birth
Slate, 9 April 2021
While she was in labour, a midwife told a young American woman that she had not one but two vaginas. It’s a rare condition called “uterus didelphys”.
The patient had painful and particularly heavy periods, and felt discomfort during sex. She knew her vagina had two separate openings, but thought it was simply an unusually tough hymen (it can happen). Her doctor, on the other hand, hadn’t noticed anything.
To enable her to give birth, the septum separating her two vaginas was cut, so she now has just one vaginal opening.
She cries tears of blood during her period
20 Minutes ch, 18 April 2021
A young Indian woman went to a clinic suffering from a particularly strange condition: she was crying tears of blood during her period. Haemolacria, or crying tears of blood, can have various causes, including hormonal ones linked to menstruation.
Doctors prescribed her contraceptive pills, and the bloody tears stopped after three months of treatment.
A baby is born with three penises
Live Science, 12 April 2021
In Duhok, Iraq, a child was born with three penises. It’s the first recorded human case of triphallia. Two of the penises contained a corpus cavernosum but no urethra, and were surgically removed.
Extra penises are a rare congenital condition. A case of diphallia (two penises) has, however, already been studied in a man who died aged 84 and donated his body to science. He had two normally sized penises, with a urethra between them at their base. He hadn’t mentioned this anatomical peculiarity on the forms.
Unusual sexual news stories: sex fails
His orgy with three women costs him his penis
20 Minutes ch, 28 April 2021
After a passionate orgy with three women, during which one of his partners bit his penis in the heat of the moment, a Russian man in his fifties noticed that his member was swelling more and more. “First an orgy, and now my willy’s getting bigger — what luck!” he thought. So the Don Juan didn’t rush to see a doctor about his injury.
When the pain eventually became unbearable, the man finally went to hospital. Sadly, it was too late: his penis was in a terrible state, and he had to undergo a partial amputation. The authorities opened an assault investigation, but the unlucky man, who’s not one to hold a grudge, refuses to name his partners.
German police say grenade-shaped object found in forest was a sex toy
Abcnews, 27 April 2021
A German jogger alerted the police after finding a bag in the forest containing a strange object — probably a grenade, he thought.
The alert was taken seriously. In the city of Passau, near the Czech and Austrian borders, it’s common to find old munitions dating from the Second World War, which pose a real danger. The bomb disposal squad was therefore called in.
But the condoms and lubricant accompanying the object made the police suspicious, so they did a quick search online to solve the mystery. It turned out to be a grenade-shaped sex toy.
Priest films himself in the middle of an orgy on the church altar with two women
20 Minutes ch, 10 October 2020
In the small town of Pearl River, Louisiana, a passer-by was surprised to see the church lights on late at night, so he peeked through the window… and witnessed a curious scene. In front of the altar, the half-naked priest, still wearing his cassock, was having sex with two goth women, dressed in corsets and high-heeled boots. Around them were sex toys (the article doesn’t say whether there was a Jackhammer Jesus among them), lighting equipment, and a smartphone on a tripod filming the scene.
Rather than letting the man of the cloth get on with his little business between consenting adults under Jesus’s benevolent gaze (or furrowed brow, who knows), the nosy parishioner hurried to record his own version of the sex tape as evidence, and alert the police.
The poor priest and his two accomplices were arrested, then released on bail. They could face up to three years in prison for “obscenity”.
Unusual sexual news stories: other stuff
Town of Bitche censored by Facebook
Rue89 Strasbourg, 12 April 2021
Bitche is a small town in Moselle with 5,000 residents. Its community manager and mayor are despairing: Facebook’s moderation bots keep deleting the town’s official page. The reason: its name is too close to the insult “bitch”, meaning a female dog or a slut in English.
Queen of England congratulates Lovehoney for its growth
Getreading, 29 April 2021
The Queen of England has congratulated sex toy shop Lovehoney on its “outstanding and continuous growth”. No, Her Majesty hasn’t suddenly decided to cause a scandal to embarrass Prince Harry, or launch her own brand of royal condoms. She simply doesn’t discriminate against a company just because it sells adult toys, and is delighted by the growth in its sales abroad.
This is the second time the sex toy brand has been congratulated by the Queen: Lovehoney won the “Queen’s Award for International Trade” five years ago.
Nintendo censors Bowser’s penis
Eurogamer, 13 April 2021
Do you remember Bowsette, the fusion of Bowser and Peach dreamed up by internet users, which quickly went the way of Rule 34?
Since Bowser inspires erotic fantasies, it was only natural that a 3D artist called AkkoArcade would model his phallus. But, alas, Bowser’s penis was removed from Patreon following a copyright claim from Nintendo.
Did you enjoy reading these unusual sexual news stories? Feel free to let us know what you think in the comments. If you liked it, we might publish another article like this.
Illustration photos: Dainis Graveris on SexualAlpha.
