At the time of writing this article, a fucking machine is proudly presiding over the living room, brandishing a piston fitted with a plastic phallus at the end of its mechanical arm.
The Le Gastronome Sexy shop sent us the BlackPill 415, a “fucking machine” from its own brand. The contraption is pretty impressive…
But, although I wasn’t entirely reassured about using it, I was really keen to give it a try. You don’t get the chance to sleep with a robot every day, and from the moment I found out I’d be able to test it, this demonic sex machine quickly became the stuff of my fantasies.
Here’s the review of the BlackPill 415 fucking machine.
A fucking machine is, at heart, an accessory you usually see in porn. So we couldn’t resist taking a few NSFW photos to illustrate this article. Make sure nobody’s looking over your shoulder, unless they’re adults who don’t mind the prospect of seeing naked people on your screen.
Packaging
The BlackPill 415 doesn’t really come in packaging as such, but the parcel was well packed, with plenty of bubble wrap inside and not the slightest clue on the outside as to what it might contain.
The parcel was lighter than I’d imagined; the whole thing weighs less than three kilos. It’s still a hefty sex toy, though, not an anvil.
The Fucking Machine
Appearance
As you might expect, the contraption is quite bulky.
There’s a base covered in faux leather, with four fold-out suction cups screwed onto the sides, and a metal stand attached to it, which lets you adjust the piston’s height and angle.
The stand supports the part containing the motor and mechanisms: a large cylinder decorated with slightly tacky croc patterns, bearing the words “Machine gun. Happiness Browser” (“Machine gun. Happiness Browser”? What? Never mind, perhaps we’ll skip the translation after all). There’s also an inscription in Chinese. This is where you plug in the power cable.
The fucking machine’s piston sticks out from the end of the cylinder. You attach the dildo to it: a flesh-coloured sex toy with a special three-pin fitting that matches the one on the piston.
This fitting looks like an XLR connector, the kind of plug used to connect some microphones (perhaps it is one), but its only purpose is to hold the dildo firmly on the rod.
Materials
In the BlackPill 415 fucking machine, the adjustable parts and mechanisms are metal: the suction cup supports, the system for adjusting the angle and height, and the piston. The base itself seems to be made of plastic (or perhaps wood?), covered in faux leather, while the covering on the large central cylinder containing the motor is plastic, reinforced by two metal straps.
The dildo
As for the dildo, it’s hard to tell what it’s made of. Some kind of plastic material, but I don’t know any more than that. When I unpacked it, it had quite a strong chemical smell, which faded after washing but didn’t disappear entirely. So, as a precaution, I wouldn’t use it without a condom.
This sex toy is a pinkish beige, straight and relatively slim but long, with raised “veins” on its surface.
Unfortunately, there’s very little choice when it comes to compatible sex toys. The only ones that will do are those designed especially by Le Gastronome Sexy for use with their fucking machines. At the moment, that means two sizes of dildo and a can-shaped pussy masturbator for men.
It’s a shame they don’t sell adapters for attaching more generic sex toys: Vac-U-Lock, for example, or, why not, a harness-style fastening system to hold dildos with a flat base. That would be great!
Instructions
Power
The BlackPill 415 plugs into the mains. The power cable comes in two parts.
One part has a transformer in the middle and is about 2 metres long. At the end there’s a Japanese plug (unless I’m mistaken; in any case, it’s the same as the one on the Fairy Lithium charger), but an adapter is included, so there’s no problem plugging it in. The second part of the cable has the control box, connected to the sex toy by a coiled cord.
As soon as it’s stretched tight, this cable tends to come unplugged where the two parts join. In the end, we added an extension lead so we could more easily reach the nearest wall socket without stretching the cable tight: problem solved.
Setup and adjustments
The angle and height of the sex toy are easy to adjust by repositioning the stand on the fucking machine, which has notches for adjustment.
The four suction cups fold out from the sides of the base, making the contraption more stable.
Controls
The BlackPill 415 is operated using a small box on its power cable, fitted with a button that controls a potentiometer.
Turning the button adjusts the current supplied to the fucking machine, and therefore the speed of the piston’s back-and-forth movement as it holds the dildo. One small problem: the cable is a little short. It’s connected to the back of the fucking machine and, because it’s coiled, it tends to wind round itself.
In short, it’s hard to reach the BlackPill 415’s controls while you’re using it. Doggy-style, I found myself groping around desperately several times, trying to get hold of the damn remote, but to no avail. It’s probably better to have someone with you when you use it: I relied on Him to come to my rescue whenever the aforementioned remote made a run for it.
Using the fucking machine
First try
When I first tried the BlackPill 415, I was a little worried about the machine’s power. I didn’t much fancy getting hurt by a plastic dick going too hard or in the wrong direction. So I decided to start very gently, at the lowest speed, and see how it went.
First, I tried putting the fucking machine on my bed. Epic fail: as soon as I switched it on, it promptly fell onto its side, its piston movements sending it sliding down the soft slope created by its weight on the mattress. After a few unsuccessful attempts, with the machine ending up on its side like a big lazy robot every time and me unable to do anything about it, I realised I’d have to abandon the idea of a naughty nap with my new robotic partner. So much for the bed.
I set up the BlackPill 415 on a gym mat instead, and got down on all fours in front of it, not entirely reassured.
Hiya, want to see my… fucking machine? That’s me in the photo. The girl, not the machine — otherwise, it’d be quite a miracle if I could manage to type on a keyboard with that big finger.
Use plenty of lube
Before you start doing anything with a fucking machine, you should know you’ll need about four hectolitres of lubricant. If you don’t have any to hand, you can give up right now and come back when you’re properly equipped in the fluids department. And not just any lubricant: something that really glides. This isn’t about softening the delicate contact between a vibrator and a clit, or adding some slip to a gentle penetration… This is heavy-duty stuff: a mechanical, straight back-and-forth movement at a steady pace.
I don’t know what material the BlackPill’s dildo is made of, so I can’t say whether it’s compatible with silicone-based lubricants. But if you put a condom on it, the condom covers the sex toy’s entire length and protects it from any contact. So I was able to use Pjur Back Door without worrying about the sex toy melting.
After starting with too little lubricant, I found that as soon as there’s a bit too much friction, the piston slows down, and stops altogether if the resistance is too great. That reassured me. Okay, it stops a little too easily; perhaps a tiny bit more power would be welcome, but it’s a safety feature that helps prevent injuries.
Don’t start “cold”
It was probably better not to start “cold”, and to be aroused already so I could welcome this mechanical penetration in the best possible conditions. So I grabbed the Fairy Lithium, first to have an orgasm before starting penetration, then to add some clitoral stimulation. Any ultra-powerful vibrator would have done the job, but there were already enough electrical cables around that could accidentally come unplugged, so I decided to go for a cordless vibrator.
The sensations
The BlackPill 415 delivers strong, steady penetration. The sensations are very intense and, if you angle it correctly (by adjusting the machine’s stand to get the right height and angle), it provides effective G-spot stimulation. When everything’s gliding smoothly, the piston can go fast — very fast… With this setup (fucking machine + Fairy), powerful orgasms follow one after another without much effort.
And compared with “human” penetration?
Compared with penetration by a human: it’s similar and different at the same time. Similar because it’s a phallic sex toy that penetrates with long, deep strokes. Different because the movement is perfectly steady, rhythmic and always at the same angle (unless you adjust the machine while using it) (and of course, there’s no body at the other end of the penis, but I expect you’d already guessed that).
Compared with the Stronics (as far as I know, the only proper-sized sex toys that do back-and-forth movements): the Stronic’s movements are much shorter and jerky, hence the term “pulsators” used to describe them.
Subsequent uses
Once I’d got over the initial apprehension, I felt more comfortable enjoying the machine and exploring it from every angle.
You don’t have to use it doggy-style. If you adjust the fucking machine properly, you can easily use it face-on, or even, if you stick to the lowest speeds, give it a blow job… Which is fun to do, but also to watch.
Just bear in mind that it moves around a lot at full power. When it’s flat, the machine never tips over… But depending on what it’s sitting on, if the suction cups don’t stick, the jolts caused by the piston’s movements will make it move around. So don’t leave any fragile objects nearby.
Conclusion
The good points:
- It’s a fucking machine. Making love to a machine is something special and fantasy-fuelled… Usually, it happens in hentai or niche porn, but… not in real life. In short, it’s exciting. And in a way, it’s pretty classy, even if you could hardly brag about it in polite company. “Hi, I’ve got a fucking machine at home. Want to come and play with it? If not, I’ve got crisps too, if you’d rather do something less sexual. Hey, why are you running away?”
- The sensations are intense, and the orgasms are guaranteed: it’s heavy-duty, but effective.
The bad points:
- It won’t fit in my handbag. Obviously, it’s the exact opposite of a cute, discreet little sex toy. But you don’t expect a fucking machine to be small, or cute, or discreet.
- A little more power (and by “power”, I mean pushing force, not speed) would have made it even better.
In brief
Using the BlackPill 415 is an original, enjoyable and very funny experience. In practical terms, there are certainly a few things that could be improved: the power, the material the dildo is made of, compatibility with other sex toys… But the thing is so exciting and pleasurable that you’d forgive it all its flaws… Though I certainly wouldn’t say no to its big brother, if a more advanced version came along.
I know it’s not a very discreet accessory and it’s quite expensive, and that not everyone necessarily wants—or has the budget—to buy a fucking machine. But if you fancy one and can afford it, go for it! It’s ridiculously fun, exciting and fantasy-fuelled, and it makes you come incredibly intensely.
Note finale du test
Les plus
- It's a fucking machine: in itself, it's already exciting and fantasy-fuelled
- Rough, but effective
Les moins
- Bulky
- High price
- Numerous flaws due to it being a budget model
Merci à Le Gastronome Sexy de nous avoir fourni la fucking machine BlackPill 415 pour ce test
