This humble guide is a series of articles dedicated to the practice of oral sex. We’re now going to focus on blowjobs. How to give a blowjob, and most importantly, how to make it a success? All without any acrobatics or techniques worthy of an esoteric manual.
If you haven’t read the beginning, it’s over here: Oral Sex Guide, Part 1.
I won’t go over everything that’s common to both cunnilingus and fellatio here, which you can read about in the first part of this guide.
How to (properly) give a blowjob? Here are some tips.
Anatomy of a penis, modelled on the Johnny from Vixen Creations
How to give a blowjob?
Start with the glans
The glans, more commonly known as the “tip of the dick”, is the most sensitive part of the penis. If you’re not familiar with phallic anatomy nomenclature: a penis is (vaguely) shaped like a mushroom.
The whole cap is the glans. This area can be stimulated with little licks, or with hand caresses, but always with good lubrication (either with your saliva or using lube). Avoid “dry” friction, which can quickly become painful and irritating.
The most innervated areas of the glans are its rim (the “crown”) and the underside, where the frenulum is located, a small fragile piece of skin to be treated with great delicacy. With your tongue, you can go back and forth or lick in circles, outside or inside your mouth, spotting what seems to have an effect on your partner.
The back-and-forth movement
The second stage of a blowjob is to perform a back-and-forth movement along the penis, with your mouth and/or using your hand.
With your hand, you need to encircle the penis, and move from the base towards the glans. You can use two or three fingers, or your whole hand, depending on how much length you plan to put in your mouth. Placing your hand around their shaft allows you to provide additional stimulation to your partner, but also ensures that you’re the one controlling the pace and depth of the oral penetration.
Don’t go too hard
Don’t make too wide a movement, don’t squeeze too hard, and make sure there’s enough skin so that everything slides without pulling on the frenulum. As I said earlier, it’s a very fragile area, and you don’t want to risk sending your partner to A&E for a frenulum tear, an incident that’s not serious but traumatic, and relatively common. Note that circumcised penises are less prone to frenulum tear risk (the frenulum having been surgically stretched during circumcision, it doesn’t tense as easily). But that’s no reason to go rough anyway.
Similarly, don’t give an Indian burn to the penis: any “ambitious” gesture must absolutely be accompanied by lubrication – saliva or lube.
Speaking of saliva, don’t be afraid to drool. In this context, it’s normal, it’s not gross, it can even be arousing, and it helps everything glide more smoothly.
You can also suck a little (very gently, it’s not about being a suction cup) and see if your partner seems to enjoy it.
Deep throat
Deep throating is not essential for a successful blowjob. It involves putting your partner’s entire penis in your mouth. It’s a nice technique, but it requires a bit of mastery and a certain level of trust, for two reasons:
- It can give the impression of choking if the penis stays too long at the back.
- And, most importantly, it can trigger gag reflexes. Indeed, at the back of the mouth is a small organ called the uvula, which plays a role in swallowing, breathing, and speech (it’s also responsible for snoring). When tickled, the uvula and the back of the throat trigger the “gag reflex”. This instinctive reflex will cause a gag, and can even lead to vomiting if you insist too much.
If you gag during a blowjob, it’s not the end of the world. You just need to take a little break from deep throating and switch (at least for a few moments) to a more comfortable licking method for your uvula. However, it is possible to control the gag reflex (within certain limits, of course).
How to avoid gagging during deep throat?
One well-known method is to choose positions where your head is tilted back as much as possible. This way, the throat is straight and the penis disturbs as few things as possible on its way. (Although their activity is riskier, sword swallowers probably rely on the same phenomenon.)
Another technique (which can be combined with the first) consists, at the moment when the penis has to pass the uvula, of imagining that you’re swallowing something. No need for much imagination, you might say, since you’re actually swallowing the tip of a cock. But by “something”, I meant a pill, a glass of water, a whole steak and chips if you’re a bit greedy… Basically, something you’re used to swallowing without too much difficulty. This way, your uvula will retract by reflex to let through what it thinks you’re about to gulp down… And voilà: it will dodge the penis, and the gag reflex won’t happen.
Of course, deep throating will be more or less difficult to practice depending on your anatomy and the size of your partner’s penis. It’s up to you to see if you feel up to it or not.
Bonus: Ranking of dumb blowjob tips found on the net
Doctissimo: “Follow the abrupt edge of the crown, that is, its vertical side, shaft side. Their advice: Avoid breaks in contact with the ridge line.”
I’m not saying this technique is necessarily rubbish. But I don’t really understand a word of it. If you’re looking for a simple method to take care of your partner’s penis, I’m sure you’ll be thrilled to come across an explanation that requires an anatomy manual to decipher.
Marie-France: the grapefruit technique. Originally from a YouTube tutorial, the “grapefruit blowjob” involves running a grapefruit under hot water, squishing it a bit to soften it, cutting off both ends, making a hole in it, then masturbating your partner with it.
Apart from the fact that you’re probably going to mess up the surroundings by splashing fruit juice everywhere, to perform this technique, you’ll have to leave your partner hanging while you go abuse this poor citrus fruit, then casually return under the sheets, a hollowed-out grapefruit in hand. If you want a less hassle equivalent that’s non-edible, invest in a Tenga egg.
To be continued in the next article: How to give cunnilingus?
Haven’t read the beginning? It’s over here.
