Faking an orgasm is something that might seem rather strange at first. Why make your partner believe you’ve come if you haven’t?
The website Kinkly.com looked into who has faked an orgasm and the reasons that prompted them to do so. Their survey received 1,232 responses.
80% of participants admitted to having faked an orgasm at some point. These aspiring actors and actresses estimate that they fake reaching orgasm 27% of the time.
But if you break down the results a little further, that’s when things get really interesting.
Women fake orgasms more often
87% of women have faked an orgasm, compared with 69% of men. Women fake it 37% of the time, while men do so just 9% of the time.
One obvious reason for this difference is the technical aspect. After all, it’s much harder to convince your partner you’ve just come if something is supposed to come out of your willy when it happens.
Granted, a man can come without ejaculating, or ejaculate without coming, but when it comes to faking it, the most common technique for a man is probably to discreetly get rid of the empty condom, which isn’t possible in every situation. Whereas for a woman, there’s no “visible proof”.
But there’s also the issue of inequality when it comes to orgasms. The men who responded to the survey estimate that they reach orgasm 86% of the time, compared with 70% of the time for women.
It’s also worth noting that women are more likely to fake an orgasm when they’re young (between 18 and 24), whereas men are more likely to do so when they’re a little older (between 35 and 44).
Faking an orgasm: why?
Of the reasons given for faking an orgasm, four answers came out on top. From most common to least common:
- “I did not want my partner to feel bad.”
- “I wanted the sex to end.”
- “I wanted my partner to feel good.”
- “I was sexually satisfied, but I did it because I felt that this was expected of me for the sex to end.”
Among those who fake it, few get caught in the act. 74% of them think their partner can’t tell whether they’re faking. However, 33% have had a partner ask them if they were faking. And 30% have admitted to the deception.
And when you admit to your partner that you haven’t actually just come, what happens? In many of the cases reported in the survey, there were negative reactions, arguments and even break-ups. But there were also efforts to pay more attention to the other person’s pleasure, and an overall improvement in their sex lives.
Remember that communication is the key to good sex, and that you don’t have to orgasm to have fun in bed. If it happens once, twice, ten times, all the better.
But sometimes the body has a mind of its own, and when things don’t work, for you or your partner, there’s no need to make a drama out of it. You can still have a lovely sexy time, with or without an orgasm, and always try again a little later, perhaps by giving your partner more feedback so you can enjoy it as much as possible.
