Woodrocket has released a porn parody of Jurassic World, called Jurassic Wood: Swollen Dingdong. It’s a chance to take a look at the eroticisation of dinosaurs.
Jurassic Wood, a porn parody of Jurassic World
In Jurassic Wood, actress Codi Vore plays a slightly nymphomaniac blue dinosaur. As for Lauren Phillips and Robby Echo, they play a couple of explorers who need to quickly capture the little dinosaurs to save them from the eruption of the dildo-volcano.
Indeed, as in the non-pornographic Jurassic Parks, all the dinosaurs are female. Do you remember the first Jurassic Park? To control the island’s population, a technique that turns out to be a complete disaster when the explorers discover eggshells in the wild. Well, we now have a new hypothesis as to the origin of those famous eggs.
And what’s the best way to attract a rather sex-driven little dinosaur? Offer her a glass dildo, of course. Then, invite her to an inter-species orgy.
A trailer for Jurassic Wood is available on Youtube.
The film Jurassic Wood: Swollen Dingdong can be watched for free on Woodrocket’s website and on Pornhub. Only one never-before-seen scene from this porn parody of Jurassic World is reserved for Pornhub Premium subscribers.
A Thai gay porn parody of Jurassic World
I’ve already told you about this in a sextoy gazette, there’s also a Thai gay porn parody of Jurassic World.
Modestly titled Jurassic Porn, it might be less faithful to the script, but judging by its trailer, it seems just as unhinged.
Dinosaur sex toys
The dino skull anal plug
Let’s start with the least pretty one. The Tyrannosaurus Sex Butt Plug, an anal plug sold on Etsy by cloverfieldstudio, depicts a T-Rex skull.
The dinosaur vibrator
Adrien Lastic’s Dino vibrator, which I’ve already mentioned in a bestiary of animal sex toys, is a sex toy depicting a cute pastel dinosaur. It’s a change from the ducks and the vibrating dolphins.
Dinosaur penis dildos
At Bad Dragon, you can find dinosaur penis dildos: Stan the T-rex, Crash the Raptor and Trent the Triceratops. But I’ve already briefly told you about these here.
In truth, palaeontologists know very little about dinosaurs’ penises. It’s not even certain that dinosaurs had penises.
Assuming they did, the size of tyrannosaurs’ is estimated to be between 25 centimetres (barely a little longer than Rocco Siffredi’s penis) and 3.7 metres (roughly twice Rocco’s entire height from head to toe). A very vague estimate, because unless they contain a bone, phalli don’t fossilise. For comparison, the record for the longest human penis is 48 centimetres, and the global average sits at around 13 centimetres for the length of an erect penis.
On the other hand, like most birds and reptiles, they very probably had a cloaca.
The dino kamasutra remains, it too, a mystery.
Erotic books with dinosaurs
Saurian erotica is finding imitators.
We’ve already mentioned Jurassic Fuck, an erotic fanfiction of Jurassic Park.
But also “Alien Stripper Boned From Behind By the T-Rex” and “Space Raptor Butt Invasion”, erotic books nominated for literary prizes, despite telling stories of anal sex with dinos.
But that’s not all. Oh, no it isn’t. The literary dino porn is far too extensive to be summarised in a paragraph, but I wouldn’t dare deprive you of that.
I promise you a guided tour of dinosaur erotic literature in an upcoming article.
