The geisha balls, what are they? Why and how do you use them?
An accessory worn inside the vagina, geisha balls consist of two balls joined together, and are generally fitted with a cord to make removal easier. They serve two purposes, which can be combined: sexual stimulation and pelvic floor toning.
Origin and names of geisha balls
Geisha balls are also called “Ben Wa” (don’t ask me why), or sometimes in English “Burmese bells”.
Burmese bells? Really? Searching for “Burmese bells” on Google, I learn that this term refers to little bells, whose sound is probably quite similar to the sound made by two geisha balls clinking together. I also come across a cute dog video.
On the other hand, if I Google “Burmese balls”, I come across topics like “My cat is vomiting”, the term Burmese also referring to a long-haired cat, which apparently has a few little hairball problems.
Although associated with the famous geishas as an accessory worn to get in the mood before going to pick up a samurai, it would seem that the rin-no-tama (that was what the object was called at the time) were originally a Chinese invention.
Geisha balls are for your own good
Geisha balls, you need to slip them in because they tone your perineum. That’s at least what women’s websites and magazines tell us, and … the shops that sell geisha balls (which, of course, are completely objective. I swear).
Is that true? And first off.. An innate pair? Peace rice nose? A perit is born? What’s that?
The perineum: what is it? And what is it for?
The perineum, broadly speaking, is the entirety of the soft parts (such a glamorous term, right, does it make you want to?) that we have between the genitals and the anus. Gentlemen, don’t laugh, you have one too. In there, we have muscles that are best kept in good shape, for various reasons, whether for health or for sex.
In fact, the perineum supports all the organs located above it. It also plays a role in bladder and bowel control, in other words, it stops you peeing or pooping yourself. And finally, it allows the vagina to contract. A toned perineum therefore lets you have more sensations during sex.
How to tone your perineum?
To get the pelvic muscles (the perineum muscles) working, you can indeed use geisha balls.
But you can also keep the muscles in question in shape without any accessory at all. All it takes is to regularly practise contracting them consciously. These are Kegel exercises.
In cases where their laxity becomes a serious health issue, medical rehabilitation can be carried out to address it.
Otherwise, you can also get ripped off by buying a pseudo-medical “laser sex toy”, of poor quality but above all ridiculous, at an exorbitant price. The principle of this device? Flash your headlights with your mould. You’ll see, it’ll motivate you. Ahem…
And otherwise, as a sex toy, how do you use it?
It’s possible that toning your down there isn’t your first priority. For example, if it isn’t causing you any particular problem. But don’t turn away with disdain. In fact, geisha balls can still be of some use to you.
Wearing geisha balls for a walk
To be clear: there is very little chance of getting an orgasm just by walking around with geisha balls. Or maybe you’re just really lucky. Not for me.
However, before wearing geisha balls outside of an intimate context, it’s best to pay attention to a detail that can become embarrassing if you haven’t anticipated it: the (little) noise. In fact, some geisha balls, fitted with a cord that’s a bit too long between the two balls, make a slight “poc! poc!” as they bounce off each other. Nothing all that dramatic, but it can still be awkward if the sound is noticed. In a slightly noisy place (the street, a restaurant, etc.), no problem, it’ll go unnoticed, but in absolute silence, you can hear it a tiny bit. And I’m not sure you’d want people to suspect you’re having difficulty with your bowels.
However, this noise problem almost never occurs with good-quality geisha balls. In fact, these generally have little or no room to move relative to each other (a short link instead of a long string), and are often fitted with a silicone coating. As a result, there are fewer impacts, and they’re cushioned. I’ll particularly mention the Smartballs by Fun Factory, which know how to stay discreet and don’t make a sound.
Wearing geisha balls in the bedroom
Geisha balls can also be used in the bedroom, alone or with a partner. They’ll nicely liven up a masturbation session, but will also be very much appreciated when paired with cunnilingus. (Er, it sounds a bit like I’m talking about something you can eat, doesn’t it?)
Variations
For your little arsehole
There are no contraindications when it comes to inserting geisha balls into the anus. Technically, as long as you make sure to keep the string out of your little arsehole, you won’t risk them getting stuck.
But there are similar accessories, specifically designed for anal insertion: anal beads (also called “Thai rosary” or “anal rosary” – “anal beads” if you search on an English-language site). The main difference being that there are more beads, but their diameter is smaller.
Some anal plugs, featuring one or two internal steel balls that rattle, also use the same principle as geisha balls.
Single ball
A vaginal egg is the single-ball variant of geisha balls. One advantage of having just one ball instead of two: the device will be quieter (your vagina doesn’t resonate, as far as I know). Unless you choose a vibrating egg, in which case, it will make a hell of a racket. Well, I may be exaggerating a little, but forget it when it comes to discretion. Use your vibrating egg at home, or at the limit to go to a concert / a nightclub / a lawnmower show. Or become famous as the girl who goes “vrrrrr !” with a look of innocence.
It’s been at least 5 minutes since I last made a crap pun.
And for the scatterbrained, be careful not to confuse Geisha balls with gay-cat balls. Visually, the two objects can indeed sometimes resemble one another. But in case of confusion, if your feline companion probably won’t mind the usual swap, you, on the other hand, will bitterly regret your inattention the moment you hear the little bells tinkle.
