Here is the fourth edition of the sextoy gazette, with jokes based on virtual reality, pornstars and masturbators, deer sperm beer and alien egg-laying dildo-penises.
Deer sperm beer
A New Zealand pub, The Green Man Pub, serves deer sperm beer.
It’s a chocolate stout, with notes of coffee. Deer sperm beer or vaginal lactobacilli, which one do you prefer?
Tenga explores virtual reality
The masturbator brand Tenga explores the possibilities of virtual reality (which it calls SR for “Substitutional Reality”, “substitutional reality”). It demonstrates the potential of this through an experience in which Japanese porn actress Love Saotome, Tenga’s CEO Takashi Matsūra, and a journalist-guinea pig took part, the latter being subjected to a little prank.
The journalist is sitting on a chair, wearing a virtual reality headset, as well as headphones. The other two are standing, facing him. What he sees, thanks to the miracles of VR: Matsūra disappears, then Saotome starts to undress, until she’s topless. She then hands him a masturbator Tenga. Unfortunately, before they could get down to the serious stuff, Matsūra interrupts the session, explaining that a technical problem has occurred. In reality, it’s Saotome who disappeared, while Matsūra stayed with the journalist, brushed his shoulder, dropped a bra on the floor, then handed him the masturbator. The video is in Japanese, but the scene is perfectly understandable without the words:
Egg-laying alien phallic dildos
There is a sextoy that allows you to inject alien eggs (fake, of course) into the orifices: theOvipositor, by Primal Hardwere.
The eggs extraterrestrial are not sold with the sextoy. It’s up to the user to make them, out of gelatin (so that they can melt if they get stuck), using a mould supplied with the Ovipositor.
Patent trolls target teledildonics companies
In the USA, the patent trolling is quite common. Companies whose sole and only business it is file rather vague patents for technologies they haven’t invented. Once the invention exists (created by others) and begins to be commercially exploited, the patent troll sues. It generally targets small companies that don’t have the financial means to defend themselves in a lengthy legal procedure.
Source: frixion.me
This is how a company called TZU Technologies (after buying the patent from HasSex, another troll) sued six companies specialising in teledildonics, most of which have not yet started selling their products:
- Vibease, a connected sextoy that vibrates in time with audiobook narration (the only one of the six currently on sale).
- Comingle, which has an interesting open-source vibrator project, the Mod.
- Winzz, creator of LovePalz (which, unlike the SmartLove, exists – but has been a flop).
- Internet Services LLC, creator of the RealTouch, a connected masturbator. (Failing to make any sales, the company announced its closure in September.)
- Happy Haptics Inc., creator of Frixion, a software platform dedicated to remote sex, whose co-founder was interviewed in Vice magazine (Frixion still in private beta since its inception)
- Holland Haptics, inventor of the Frebble, a device whose purpose (extremely daring, sensitive souls, look away!) is to be able to… hold hands at a distance.
A statue of Dark Vador made of sex toys
With the porn parody site WoodRocket, actress Kayla-Jane Danger created a statue of Dark Vador made of sex toys, which she named The Darth Vibrader.
A video of the construction of the Darth Vibrader:
A sex toy controlled by an Apple Watch
The Blush Vibe, by Lovense, presents itself as the first sex toy controllable using an Apple Watch. This connected sex toy is also compatible with smartphones, on iOS or Android. on iOS or Android. iOS or Android. on iOS or Android. Indiegogo campaign having reached its goal in one day, it seems well on its way to being released.
A demo video showcases it:
Edit (December 2017) : The Blush Vibe is actually called Lush Vibe, and we have tested it !
The first ex-pornstar to become an astronaut
No, it’s not a Pornhub buzz. However, in case you haven’t already come across 36 news stories about this, Pornhub has launched an unlikely crowdfunding campaign attempting to raise $3 million to shoot a porn in space.
CoCo Brown in the stars
CoCo Brown is about to become the first former porn star to go to space. And it’s not to do sexual things up there. to do sexual things up there. do sexual things up there. After receiving a VIP ticket allowing her to book her seat, CoCo paid $100,000 to go through the programme of XCOR, a company specialising in space tourism. She is currently undergoing intensive training, which will allow her, in 2016, to launch on a one- to two-hour suborbital flight, beyond 100 kilometres of altitude.
Other stuff
- Amnesty International has decided to promote the decriminalisation of prostitution (clients and pimps included), and explains in detail the why and the how.
- Following the announcement of the NGO’s stance, a deluge of Hollywood stars declared themselves indignant and outraged… On social media, many sex workers, who approve of Amnesty International’s decision, then advised them, rightly, to mind their own business.
Stoya’s reaction, on Twitter
- India, in order to get rid of pornography, asked its internet service providers to block access to 857 sites (In the list of blocked URLs, CollegeHumor and LeDauphine.com, is that normal?). A few days later, she partially relented.
- Meanwhile, China declares war on amateur porn.
- A Thai gay porn parody of Jurassic Park. You may have seen it already, but the special effects are so good I’m sharing it again:
- A report on Jacquie and Michel… Screening tests before filming? Don’t know about those.
- A little visit to the New York Sex Museum, located in Manhattan.
- HunieCam Studio, a simulation game about running a cam site… It could be rather nice, if the game’s description on Steam wasn’t riddled with uncharitable remarks about cam girls.
- Last-minute bonus gift: Do you rememberAleksandr Pistoletov, the guy who was having a chopper blowjob in front of Pirates of the Caribbean images? He’s found a mate who accompanies him to swim with dolphins… Well… Almost… (needless to say that this link isn’t really safe for work…)
