In a previous post, devoted to sexuality in the online game Second Life, I had promised to tell you about my visit to IMVU (Instant Messaging Virtual Universe).
This visit was rather brief and nearly turned into an orgy with the dolphins. So it is by no means an objective review of this video game, which a whole bunch of people play perfectly innocently without having so much as a single virtual screw going on.
But apparently, you can have sex on IMVU… So what’s the story there?
I signed up on IMVU to see what it was all about…
Signing up on IMVU
To sign up, I’m asked to enter a few details, the usual stuff for registering on a site. Nothing too shocking. For now, all is well… Except for the captcha I have to copy to prove I’m not a robot, which is rather… ahem… Particular. The word to copy is at the end of a video, which I can’t skip, and which is… An ad for Harpic, the toilet cleaner. Sexy, isn’t it? That’s really setting the mood…
I’m also informed along the way that the program I need to install in order to play is “virus-free”. Huh? I thought that was implied, though… Thanks for that rather reassuring detail.
Installing the IMVU game
During installation, you need to be a bit careful, as you’re offered the chance to install the IMVU extension as a search engine and to launch IMVU automatically at startup. You mustn’t forget to refuse these lovely suggestions, which are likely to turn your PC into a right mess.
Creating your character
As soon as the game loads, I’m offered “Get dressed & stand out! Show off your personality and your style – Learn how to compose and harmonise your look, your outfits and your accessories”. There’s a button: “Let’s do it!”. Tell me right away I’m badly dressed, how original! Right, okay, if you insist, I’ll do it.
Creating your character is fairly standard. You can optionally dress your character up as a goth, since a pale complexion and black makeup are among the options offered. It lags a bit with the hairstyles… And there are a few glitches when refreshing… Help, I’ve got manga eyes, I have no idea how they got there, but I can’t get rid of them! The “Go on, slap me on a manga face, I love it!” button, it bugs when you try to switch it off… Oh well… Off I go, making big eyes.
One positive point, though, is that you can have pet animals. You can even have several. So I’m taking three: a turtle, a dragon, and a chubby Cupid.
If you haven’t paid for a subscription, your username starts with “Guest”.
The stage where they offer you to buy things
Then comes a stage where you’re offered to buy objects with virtual money. Except that in the end, the virtual money is bought with real money, as the next stage tells you, “More credits, more possibilities”.
You’re forced to look at all the stages without skipping any, but you’re not obliged to buy anything. Just wanting to test it out, I don’t really feel like taking out a subscription. Next stage, then.
The list of chat rooms
Here I am on the list of chat rooms. “Chat games, entertainment, politics, films, love and more. Can’t find a room that fits you? Create your own products!”
Right… We’ll let the agreement error on the not-very-clean products slide, they must be struggling to pay their translator. To chat about politics, though, I have a slight doubt as to whether going on IMVU is a viable option. “Love” isn’t exactly the term I’d use either, at first glance.
Only two or three rooms are not full. The others are therefore not accessible.
Connecting to an IMVU chat room
So I click, at random, on an available chat room. While the room loads, oh, look, an ad for the Nissan Micra! I’ll therefore fantasise about the idea of screwing in the back seat of a Nissan Micra. I’m then asked to wait while the “furniture is being set up”.
I land on a cruise ship, in a rather pretty 3D universe. By reflex, I try the traditional “ZQSD” to try to move around. No, apparently, movement doesn’t use those keys. However, I’ve typed “zzzzzzzzqqsssssddd” in the chat. Right, I noticed before sending the whole thing. It would be rude to look like I’m falling asleep on such a lovely cruise ship… The arrow keys have no effect either.
In fact, to move, you have to click on the spotspredefined, which have a little yellow light when you hover your mouse over them. The scroll wheel lets you zoom in and out.
Suddenly, a notification… Oh, look, I’ve got a friend! The notification title: “Earn credits”. “Short on cash? Earn credits and come back for some shopping! Fulfil (from the verb fulfil) an offer from one of our partners. Confirm your email. Tell your friends about IMVU. Create and sell your own products”. No, actually, no friend in sight.
Crap…. I’m apparently swimming with dolphins right now. I just wanted to join the people on the platform, it looked cool. Right… I’d like to get out of the water, but it seems that’s not on the agenda: I’m stuck to the arse of a dolphin and I’m bobbing along merrily, help, it’s moving in every direction… I like dolphins, but this is too much. My character seems to be having a ball, clinging to a dorsal fin, but as a player, I’m about to vomit.
Right… I’m leaving this room.
The next room
So I join another room, named “fantasy whale ship”. As its name indicates, it’s a ship shaped like a whale.
This time, I’m not forced to watch the advertisement. I was offered a little ad along the way, but I politely declined the offer.
Right, I’ve sat on a little horse in a carousel… It’s spiiiinning! By clicking around, I finally manage to anchor myself on solid ground. Phew!
I spot a girl (or a bloke who has a girl’s avatar). Great, a human. I land next to this character. Huuuullooo? “Thingamajig has left the chat. Thingamajig has joined the chat”. Right, he’s having connection problems.
I’ll try to get in touch with someone else. A “couple” seems to be calmly sitting on a bench, so I crash the party like a pig. The girl logs off. Right, I’m left with the bloke. Huuuullooo? So I throw him a cheerful “Hey!”. He doesn’t answer. I teleport to the other side of the bench, uttering the oh-so-eloquent onomatopoeic “Plop!” and “Re-hey!” (I’m a cyber-poet…). Right, he doesn’t budge, he doesn’t answer: apparently, he’s dead. I didn’t really mean to, but it seems I’m performing an obscene dance in front of him. No reaction. Dead, that man, I tell you. Hoo-oo, is anyone there?
Right, there, I’ve got a mate. Someone passed by and added me as a friend. And I managed to shake their hand. But apparently, quite a few interactions are paid.
Conclusion: so, sex in IMVU?
In short, I played an MMORPG, with no monsters and no quests. Nothing particularly sexual in there. I didn’t even cross paths with anyone in the buff. After that, perhaps once you know the places a bit better, you get access to spots that are a bit less… platonic. Or not. Either way, my excursion will stop there.
He tried it too, but apparently didn’t have quite the same experience. Here’s a little screenshot (of course, I’ve redacted the usernames), which seems a bit sexier than my marine mammals:
More revealing outfits and sexier roleplay, admittedly, but it’s far from descending into the obscene. For example, the BDSM practices consist of dialogues like “Submissive, go get me a glass of water!” – “Here’s a glass of water, master, it’s an honour for me to bring it to you!”. In short, everything stays on the side of the imagination…
Next time, I’ll be visiting Second Life. To be continued…
