Exhibitionist sites are springing up all over the web. I’m thinking in particular of the “I Show My Arse” series: I show my sex toy, my tits, my willy, my cunt, my fellatio, my sextape, my left ear, my pony, and so on.
I Show My Arse So That an Expert Panel Can Evaluate It
A while back, we were contacted by the creator of Miss Titties, a site with a perfectly decent design. Who proposed that we write an article for them to bring in some traffic, in exchange for a link on their Facebook page (which, at the time of receiving the email, had been “liked” by three people. Eleven now. Yippee yay. The height of success, really).
The principle of the site? I send a high-quality photo showing my tits. The “panel” decides whether it’s cool, and publishes it on the site if it is.
Visually, It’s Not Ugly
Although there are only four of them, the photos are nice, and without vulgarity. The site doesn’t have (at least not at the moment) any advertisements. And the panel is mixed, a gentleman, creator of Pornolomo, a tumblr with not-at-all-ugly photos, and a lady, herself a photo model, and very beautiful. So much for the good points.
The Little Thing That Still Gets on My Nerves
(Apart from the fact that instead of simply asking politely, I’m being offered a “barter of services” where they dangle something genuinely mouldy in front of me.)
Why am I making a fuss, then? Because I’m being told, in a sickly sweet tone if ever there was one, that if my tits are selected, “I’ll straight away let my friends know who are going to be totally jealous…”. Chattering and giggling, I imagine. Normal, it’s in my nature as a titty turkey.
The little extra phrase that leads one to presume that by evoking your freedom to exhibit yourself, your pride in the beauty of your body, and all that, they take you for a ham. A big, stupid ham. It might just be an innocent remark that had no such intentions, but it’s still well and truly there. And it ruins a bit of everything. Shame: apart from that detail, I found the rest rather nice.
I Show My Arse Among the Plebs
The “I-Show-My-Something” (a grouping of several sites: “I Show My Wee-Wee / My Willy / My Bottom / My Sextape, etc.”), that’s a whole different perspective. You can display whatever anatomy you have and whatever the talents of your photographer may be.
Even if you’re all ragged, lumpy and pimply, if the person who held the lens of your ultra-low-resolution webcam to immortalise the moment is suffering from advanced Parkinson’s, or if you have aesthetic tastes questionable misunderstood. The kind of, let’s say, dressing up your penis as Santa, wrapping it in toilet paper, adorning it with ribbons and flowers or putting plush toys astride it. The primary goal is not quality, but quantity. Aesthetics don’t count, it’s the sexual aspect that matters.
What’s Cool
Every photo published there finds admirers (all tastes are in nature). Who emit compliments, and compliments, that’s always nice for the ego. Moreover, the comments are moderated by the site’s administrators before publication. So you won’t see any trolls who love degrading remarks, or any heavy-handed harassers.
A little remark though, for the gentlemen: penises also find their admirers on this site, for once. The wee-wees receive as many flattering comments as the other organs, without discrimination: it’s the ideal site if you want people to be effusive about your willy, whether it’s big, medium or small, pointy or rounded at the tip, hairy or hairless, etc. However, don’t show your willy there if you have a phobia of other willys. Indeed, the majority of penis commenters are men. I suppose a faceless penis appeals more to men than to women.
What’s Less Cool
Art or Muck
Right, first of all, for the fervent art lovers, it’s a no-go: there, you only find arses, all raw, photographed in a rush and not always from their best angle. Muck, I tell you, not art (but occasionally, a treat). Uncompromising devotees of perfect curves highlighted by adequate lighting, even in matters of sex, forget about it.
Beware the Gutter Snipes
One point to which you still need to be careful before posting on one of the “I Show My Arse” series sites: watch your anonymity!
Indeed, when you publish photos on an adult dating site, generally, only registered users have access.
It can always happen accidentally that someone recognises you there. For example, if you didn’t deem it necessary to conceal your face. Or if you have a unique configuration of moles or a tattoo that stands out in the foreground of the photo… Or again if, in the background, you can see your bedroom with the teddy bear that Auntie Hortense knitted for your birthday, and that same Auntie Hortense has suddenly felt like getting into frivolous encounters.
But it’s highly likely that, if that someone is civilised, they won’t mention their discovery, because admitting that they’ve seen you stark naked is the same as admitting that they themselves went to the trouble of signing up on a site for doing not-very-clean things.
Sometimes even, as on Wyylde, for example, only people who have paid a subscription have access to the photo galleries. If a rascal dared to call you perverted for showing your bottom, you’d send them straight back to their status of double pervert, for having paid to see it.
However, on the “I-Show-My-Thingamajig”, anyone can have a look, without any prior compromising act. Which is double-edged: a wider audience, but if you ever get spotted, the indecent peeper can feign innocence and a Google coincidence.
The Informed Opinion of Consumers
In the comments on photos or videos, despite the moderation, you find remarks that, although not insulting in the slightest, can give your libido a violent urge to run away:
- The s-p-e-l-l-i-n-g: one can tremble with horror at the sight of the slightest mistake, or simply not give a damn. But one thing remains certain: if random spelling has many practitioners, the fetish for dyslexia has not yet spread. And when it’s written really, really, really in a rush, sometimes you simply understand absolutely nothing. It gives you improbable things like: “You have a verry nise body” (tchou! tchou!), “Go see bit if she pleases you” (me, I prefer octets), “i will be lesbian i will feel you and lick finger your arsehole and your cunt and blow up your holes with a good dildo but i am not a woman shame” (said by a big, well-furred moustachio who has a gallery titled “F*** me the tree”).
- “Hummmmmm”: That’s an incredibly common thing. Instead of leaving their keyboard alone, the bloke who doesn’t know what to say writes… an onomatopoeia. Always the same, meant to represent a moan of pleasure during a sexual act. “Hummmmmm”. Ah yes, you want onomatopoeia? “Spoouiiiittcchhh! Platch! Plooerk! Sluuurrppp! Splok! Blurk! Spliiitchh! Plooc!”. What do you mean, that makes you hard? Me, it’s the “Hummmmmms” that disgust me. And I doubt I’m the only one in that case.
- The smiley showing a dancing arse on legs. Ouch. Really hardcore.
On the Muck Market
To finish, the “I Show My…” are quite loaded with ads: for a partner sexshop of the site, for various “dating” sites via webcam, for a miracle solution to lengthen your penis, etc… It seems your crotch is quite profitable.
Edit: I Show My Arse for Real
If you’ve come for the titty title, but have still taken the trouble to read the article in full, to thank you for your attention, you won’t leave disappointed.
You’ll find photos of my bottom in the review of the Sex and Mischief harness and dildo kit by Sportsheet.
And loads of other sexy photos, some of them more daring, in our photo galleries or on the Exhib forum!
Edit (The Second One): Come discuss exhibitionism and voyeurism on the Sexuality forum!
