What is the appeal of BDSM ? As in the previous article on this theme, people drawn to BDSM, but with little (or no) experience, they tell us about their interest in BDSM by answering a few questions.
In this second part, we will see what François thinks about it, a beginner dominant in BDSM.
François describes himself as “fetish and/or dominant”. He is in a relationship, and discovered BDSM with his partner.
The appeal of BDSM
1Why does BDSM appeal to you? How did the idea come to your mind?
I recently realised that my partner was attracted to this kind of play. I then went looking for information.
Why am I staying? Out of curiosity, but perhaps also because I identify with certain practices.
Attraction to certain aspects of BDSM
2BDSM encompasses a fairly wide range of practices, and can be viewed from different angles… Which aspect appeals to you most? What are your desires in that area?
The pleasure I can give my partner, it is essential.
The game of seduction, the distillation of eroticism, and the resulting artistic side come second.
The question of domination/submission is only incidental, in fact it is a relationship that develops naturally.
Soft or hard BDSM?
3Do you lean more towards soft or hard? By the way, what is your definition of these two terms?
I’m soft. I’m just starting out, I avoid trying things that could lead to disasters .
I would say that “hard” leaves physical and mental marks for more than an hour, “soft” does not.
Fantasy or reality?
4Do you think this will remain within the realm of fantasy, or will you move on to practice?
I took this step very recently. The result surprised me. It calls into question some of the ideas I had acquired up to that point.
A huge thank you to François for taking the time to answer my questions.
If you missed the previous post, it’s here: Getting started in BDSM: testimonials (Part 1).
The continuation of this interview series:
Source of the illustration: Flickr gallery by foxgrrl.
