To start 2015 like last year and the year before, we are going to start with a top list of sex toys tested on Objets de Plaisir in 2014. The best sex toys in each category, but also the prettiest, the ugliest, the bulkiest, etc…
Best sex toys
Best clitoral vibrator: the Fairy Turbo
In 2014, Fairy once again did its thing, and that’s just as well. The Fairy Lithium, battery-powered, is ultra-powerful, the Fairy Mini, corded, even more powerful…
And the Turbo version of this thundering vibrator is even more powerful. It therefore deserves its place in the top list of best sex toys of the year.
The Fairy Turbo is mega-brutal, its head is smoother, so easier to clean, its cable is longer… In short: it’s an improved version of one of my favourite vibrators. Having become my favourite clitoral vibrator, it no longer leaves my bedside table.
Best dildo: the Orchidée by Idée du Désir
I love wooden sex toys, and in 2014, we had the opportunity to fully explore the sensuality of this material.
In particular, with the discovery of Idée du Désir, a woodworker who has taken up making wooden sex toys.
The Orchidée is one of his first creations. We tested it early in the year. And this magnificent walnut wood dildo, formidably effective for G-spot stimulation, immediately convinced us.
Best G-spot vibrator: the Lelo Mona 2
Impeccable manufacturing quality, powerful vibrations, and exactly the right angle to stimulate the G-spot to perfection: the Lelo Mona 2 immediately seduced us.
Best rabbit
A clitoral tip that vibrates, and a vaginal tip that turns, in the manner of a tongue doing a conscientious job of shovelling.
The concept of the Nexus Bisous is fairly simple, all in all, but effective. All of it, in a good-quality sex toy. The gadget is approved, and climbs into the top list of best sex toys 2014.
Best anal plug
The Idée du Désir plug is a small, delicate and light thing, meticulously hand-sculpted. An anal plug with modest dimensions, all about finesse, and probably the best of the year.
Best sex game: Superposes
Originally, the Superposes sex game, by Rue des Lilas, goes on the assumption that all the participants are OK for a gigantic orgy at the end of the game, which is a bit too direct for my liking..
Setting aside the orgiastic outcome, these transparent cards, which are stacked to represent sexual positions that players then have to mimic, form an (even) sexier evolution of Twister.
And as a bonus, the cards are water-resistant (and resistant to all the other fluids that might land on them).
The most something
Prettiest sex toy
If all dildos looked like the Corkscrew by Fucking Sculptures, we would need to open a host of sex toy museums to exhibit them. Moreover, this dark, twisted glass dildo, handmade in the USA, is as effective as it is beautiful.
As far as sex toy museums go, there is one in Prague, the Sex Machines Museum, and another in San Francisco, the “Good Vibrations’s Antique Vibrator Museum” (run by the shop of the same name).
Most high-tech sex toy
2014 was all about teledildonics: prototypes of connected sex toys had been making quite a stir here and there for some time, but it was in 2014 that these “future sex toys” (or rather, present ones now), began to spring up in sex shops everywhere…
The We Vibe 4 Plus is the first connected sex toy that has all the features you expect to find in a connected sex toy.
Ugliest sex toy
The Sensation anale by Claire Castel masturbator doesn’t look like much – and certainly not like an anus, or its official product photo. It is perfectly round and smooth, and soft: on Twitter, it is compared to a doughnut.
Gentlemen, I have the honour of presenting the first doughnut for a penis. If only the gadget could smell like a doughnut, and not the plastic that stinks… (Even so… I’m already imagining the news item “Drunk, he dies choking after eating his coffee-soaked masturbator”… Bad idea.)
Most disappointing sex toy
I really like the Lelo brand, and when it releases a new product, I can’t stop itching to test it. Yet, if I were asked to sum up in two words what I think of the Tara, my answer would probably be a jaded “Meh, blah…”.
The Tara is a watered-down version of the Ida, couples’ vibrator that is hardly anything special to begin with. And this, despite a concept that seemed enticing: G-spot stimulation through rotations, in addition to vaginal penetration while wearing it.
For me, the sensations don’t deliver – or at least not enough: I’m disappointed.
Bulkiest sex toy
After testing the Rock Box from Lovehoney, we thought we had it all figured when it came to camouflaging bulky sex toys.
Oh yeah, really?.. And where do we store this gadget?
The BlackPill 415 fucking machine is a real piece of work. Trying a fucking machine is a properly hilarious experience, but afterwards, you need to be ready to sacrifice a cupboard to stash the little beast in.
And for you, what were your best sex toys of 2014? And the worst?
