Usually, we’re the ones interviewing people… But, for once, we agreed to turn the tables and answer Comlove’s questions, as well as take part in a sexuality-themed ‘Chinese portrait’ quiz.
While you’re at it, you can sign up to discover more of this site, which offers a fun (and free) game for couples… But I won’t say any more: I’ll let you explore for yourselves…
Edit: as the Comlove site no longer exists, we’ve moved this interview here.
To start with, tell us a little about yourselves, and especially who’s answering, because we saw on the site that there’s “Her” and “Him”, so who’s it going to be today?
She: We’re going to take turns answering the questions. First She (that’s me answering this first question), then “Him”. (As well as being unoriginal, our pseudonyms aren’t very practical; they add a lot of personal pronouns to sentences…).
In real life, we’re a couple, and we write sex toy reviews for fun.
To find out a bit more about you, let’s move on to your slightly spicy Chinese portrait.
If I were an ideal age to make love?
She: I don’t think there’s an ideal age to make love… While browsing the internet, I’ve had the chance to talk about sex with people of all ages… As long as you’re old enough to have a place of your own, and in good enough shape that your body doesn’t cause too many practical problems, the number of years you’ve lived doesn’t seem to have much bearing on how much fun and pleasure people get out of it.
He: I think it varies a lot from person to person and depending on their lives, but every age group has its potential advantages.
When you’re young, you discover love and sex, and everything can seem fantastic because it’s all happening for the first time. A few years later, you can claim a bit of experience and discover wonderful new things to try, and if you have a salary, there are fewer financial obstacles to indulging your desires and ideas.
Later on, you can finally try activities you’d previously set aside and experience a sort of rebirth. I imagine, for example, that a couple might feel more confident about taking the plunge and having extramarital adventures (consensually, of course!) or trying swinging if the years they’ve spent together have helped build unshakeable trust in their relationship.
In short. No ideal age.
If I were an exotic place to make love?
She: I’m not really a fan of doing it out in the middle of nowhere, so I’d say a nice hotel room…
He: A swingers’ club? A deserted beach on a paradise island? A BDSM dungeon? A nightclub where you can show off? I don’t know. When in doubt, I’ll join “She” in choosing a nice hotel room. Not very epic, I admit.
If I were a time of day to make love?
She: The evening.
He: The afternoon, the evening, the night, any time, but not the morning! There are only four things I’m capable of doing in the morning: sleep, drink coffee, stare blankly at the wall, or go to work in a complete zombie state. I can also combine all four.
If I were a sex toy?
She: Just one? Oof, that’s not easy to decide. But if I had to choose just one, I think I’d go for something ultra-powerful like the Fairy. Or Lelo’s Smart Wand Large.
He: Probably a classic vibrator (like the Fairy or the Magic Wand) for their proven effectiveness on She.
If I were an erotic accessory?
She: Hmm, I’m torn… A chastity cage, perhaps…. I quite like putting penises in cages…
He: A screen, for porn. I like porn in general. Otherwise, a pair of handcuffs.
If I were an erogenous zone?
She: My answer isn’t very original, but hey: the clitoris.
He: Physically, the clitoris or the penis. But really, pretty much any part of the body, as long as the situation and the psychological stimulation are there.
If I were a position?
She: Er… Doggy style?
He: If I have to choose just one, then doggy style too. But really, just one? That’s hard to choose.
If I were an erotic activity?
He: I’m torn between fellatio and cunnilingus.
If I were a brand associated with eroticism?
She: My favourite brand of sex toys or erotic accessories? Here too, it’s hard to choose just one. Maybe Fun Factory, to stick with the classics: you can’t go wrong with them. Or Tantus.
If I were a risqué but non-pornographic film?
She: I’m not quite sure where the definition of a “risqué film” begins and ends… and I find it even harder to pick a favourite film… For something that’s not exactly recent, I’ll choose Story of O.
He: I’m not sure I know any. Or at least, I don’t think I’ve seen any. On the other hand, if I were NOT a risqué but non-pornographic film, I’d be The Idiots, by Lars Von Trier. I have a certain aversion to that film.
If I were an actor or actress?
He: Sasha Grey! (Or “She”, but her videos aren’t on the big screen yet ;) ).
If I were a fetish?
She: Pet play.
If I were a website?
She: Objets De Plaisir, of course!
She: Neither. We don’t have children. And we’re under thirty, so we’re not all that experienced. Talking about sharing our experience would be a bit pompous… Sharing experiences, yes, but in the experimental sense of the word. And it’s better when it goes both ways, which is why we decided to add a forum to the blog.
He: We definitely love writing and keeping a blog about sex and sex toys, and we definitely love playing together. Other than that, we’re not quite a couple of “happy swingers into fetish parties” yet, but if I were to venture a guess about the future, that’s the direction I think (hope) we’ll go in. I do think, though, that we’re already relatively liberated when it comes to sexuality in general, and our own. And although we don’t always put it into practice because we’re still a bit hesitant, at least in theory, our relationships are consensually open.
The site has been around since early 2012, but how did it come about? Had you been thinking about it for longer, or did you wake up one morning and say, “Hey, why don’t we start a blog about sex toys and sexuality”?
She: Basically, yes. One day, while we were chatting, we just said, “Hey, why don’t we start a sex toy review blog!” We thought about the perfect name and came up with “Objets De Plaisir”. A few days later, He registered the domain name, installed WordPress and made a theme, and I wrote the first article.
He: Not much to add; it really did come about quite suddenly. Although we now have higher hosting costs, more complex processes for managing and developing the blog, and so on, the first step was relatively easy to take: registering the domain name. The hardest part was the second step: filling this new blog with interesting things.
You obviously do it for fun, but what keeps you going?
She: To start with, it’s motivating to know that people are reading us, to see people taking part in the forum and in the comments, and sending us emails asking for advice.
Then, well… It’s fun testing sex toys; we never get tired of it! To keep things varied, we try to test as many unusual and original products as we can. But for every item we test, we have to find a shop or brand willing to provide it… And when we’re offered a sex toy that seems “been there, done that” or not very interesting to try, we simply say “no thanks”.
I saw that you have quite an amazing collection! As time goes by, what happens to it? Has each one been used for a review and then forgotten? Or are they toys you bring out from time to time?
She: It all depends on the sex toys in question. We use the ones we really like regularly. Others get a little forgotten, and only come out of the cupboard now and then (especially to take photos for the blog), for example, to make comparisons in a review.
He: She’s pretty much said it all. The thing is, when you have 10 versions of the same type of sex toy, you only use the best one or two of those ten regularly, even if the “third-best” is a very good product. Not to mention the price, which matters a lot when you’re buying, but once you already have the sex toys at home, it’s no longer a factor. That’s why, for example, we might advise against a product because it really is far too expensive, but still carry on using it ourselves because the thing itself is nice.
Since you started, lots of shops have appeared, sex toy parties have become more common, “Fifty Shades of Grey” has gone around the world and the media talk about all this much more openly. How have you experienced this evolution through your site?
She: I think interest in sex toys started to pick up well before our blog was created. Our visitor numbers have grown over time, but I think that’s true of any site whose content is regularly updated.
He: As She said, the number of visitors to the blog is constantly increasing, but although sex toys have indeed become much more popular in recent years, the blog is evolving too, and is continually being filled with new articles and content. I imagine all these things are connected. People are becoming increasingly interested in sex toys, so some of them go as far as starting a blog (like us); that means there’s more and more content on the internet (and elsewhere), which makes sex toys even more mainstream, bringing in new visitors, who encourage sites to improve and offer more quality content, which in turn brings in more new visitors, and so on…
Let’s stick with “Fifty Shades of Grey”, which is coming out at the cinema next year. Have you seen the trailer? What do you think?
She: Actually, I didn’t watch the Fifty Shades of Grey trailer until after I received this interview. I haven’t read the book, and the trailer didn’t particularly make me want to see the film.
On the other hand, sticking with “films about BDSM that are coming out soon”, I recently came across the trailer for “My Mistress”, which intrigued me more.
What do you think about sex and sex toys in general getting so much media coverage?
She: Media coverage of sex and sex toys? It seems pretty normal to me… Sex is something most people do, whether on their own or as a couple, and you can’t say the same of many other pastimes.
As for sex toys, they’re becoming more and more common, so it makes sense that people talk about them. Then it all depends on how they talk about them… Some journalists write fascinating things on the subject, others just jump on the latest buzz, and the laziest publish articles that have been written for them in exchange for commercial links dropped into the copy (in that third case, you might as well just read an advert)…
Exactly, how do you avoid that kind of situation?
She: For our reviews, we try to choose sex toys (and other erotic accessories) that we think have a good chance of being any good… The aim is to find some nice products and be able to recommend, for example, one vibrator or another depending on what our readers are looking for… But we don’t leave out the flaws, and if a toy turns out to be disappointing, we say so too. That’s what reviews are for, even if a negative opinion is probably less pleasing to the person who supplied us with the item.
We don’t have a policy, but when we ask a shop or brand if we can test a sex toy, we make it clear that we intend to publish an honest review. Most of them play along and don’t take criticism badly. Shop owners often want to know whether the sex toys they’ve added to their range will appeal to their customers, and reputable brands take users’ opinions into account.
As anonymous bloggers, you feel freer than journalists. If someone invited you to a lingerie show tomorrow, would you say yes?
She: Well, it’s not really a question, because events like that usually take place in Paris, and we’re not from Paris. But even if the show were happening near us, in practice, I don’t think it would be our thing…
What do you think about the growing number of increasingly sophisticated toys, like the OhMiBod?
She: Personally, I like high-tech gadgets, so if I see a sex toy with an innovative concept, I immediately try to get my hands on it. Still, you have to admit that sophisticated doesn’t always mean effective… Sex toy designers don’t always seem to take the time to really try out their creations.
As for the latest OhMiBod (it has quite a few predecessors from the same brand), the concept looks good. Worth testing…
Finally, do you talk about your blog with the people around you and your friends?
He: We don’t talk about our blog with the people around us. It’s a bit frustrating never to be able to boast about it when we spend so much time looking after it, but it’s better this way. We wouldn’t dare publish everything we want to if people close to us were reading.
She: In practice, even when a sex toy is supposed to look discreet, people who see it sitting on a shelf will know exactly what kind of object it is. They live on the same planet and have an internet connection too. Displaying sex toys as decor is one choice among many, but if you do, you have to own it. There’s no point hoping no one will catch on.
Thanks to both of you for answering our questions so openly. Any final words, or an article you’d like to highlight?
He: Not a particular article, but a category. She writes loads of articles too, and not just sex toy reviews!
